My Story and I How I Delt With It
Hey guys,
So in this post it will be kinda different. I have delt with loss, for the first time 2 years ago to my nana. She was a huge part of my life growing up and it was hard to lose her. Everyone goes through different things. So I am going to tell you my story and how I coped with this for nearly 18 months.
So in 2014 my nana was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She had this cancer for 10 years and didn't even know about it up to the 11th year. When I found out, it was extremely hard because I was only 11 years old, and my sister was only 14. During the 18 months she had cancer, she got jondis. It's this condition/disease where your blood or lungs clog up and your skin turns yellow and you get this either after your born or before you die, but not everyone gets it. So even if she did recover from the cancer she would still die because of the condition she got.
When she recovered from jondis, my family and I tried travelling for an hour after tennis every weekend to visit her either in the hospital or at her home with my pop. I remember once we visited her, and she gave me and my sister things from when she was younger. My nana gave me a necklace that she wore to her wedding and her mums wedding, so on and so on. As the cancer got worse, she started loosing weight rapidly and she started loosing her hair. When she started loosing weight, at the same time she was getting the same medication you use for chemotherapy, because there was no cure. A couple months went by, and my nana got worse, we started visiting her in hospital not at her house, my nana could still move, she did still have some strength, but it wasn't enough.
Soon, I started crying whenever I started thinking about her and soon whenever I saw her at the hospital I couldn't stop crying. My mum and dad tried telling me to remember what she looked like before she had cancer, but that image is long gone. Till this day, I don't remember what she looks like before she had cancer. Soon later, my nana started getting better, she could go home, but she had to come back into the hospital for checkup every now and then. The last time I was at her house with nana there, she gave my sister and I old photo's from when we were younger. When I got home, I started writing letters about how I loved her, what she did for me etc, this helped me remember the good things, because so much bad stuff was happening in between.
Months fly by, my nana can't walk anymore. She is in hospital, fighting for her life. We visited her weekly and sometimes after school and sometimes we missed school because we had to be with her. During this time, it was hard on my pop and especially my dad. He didn't hardly talk, it was hard to talk to him about her because we would both end up in tears. My nana, has gone though so much in one year, when she couldn't walk, she stayed at the hospital in a seperate area so no one would disturb her. She lost all movement, she couldn't see, she couldn't smell, the last thing she could do was hear, and when she looses that, then she's gone.
One day, my mum gets a call about my nana, straight away, we packed our bags and I took my letters with me so I could read them to her. When we got there, my dad told me, she wanted to see you girls before she leaves. My mum, dad everyone left apart from me and my sister, to say out final words. I tried reading her a letter, but all I could hear coming out of her mouth was, "I love you", over and over, that was all I could hear out her mouth. I couldn't read her my letter, I was to scared to. That night I slept over at pop's house, my dad and my nana's sister slept at the hospital. The next morning, I was so scared with what I was about to hear. My nana past away during the night. Friday 13th 2015. The worst time to pass away. I had so much mixed emotions coming through me, I didn't cry one bit, I didn't know how to handle it.
Once I went back to school. During prayer, everyone said something about my nana, and I burst into tears in the middle of class, the teacher sent me to a councillor, and it actually helped a lot, (I recommend it) when I was at school in year 8, I started seeing her walking down the school hallways, it kind of scared me at first, but then I knew that she was always watching over me. So just remember, if you have lost a loved one, just think about all the good things they have done, all the memories. Wright them down, talk to someone, a friend or family member.
I hope you guys liked my story of my nana. I know this was a different post, but I don't talk about her that much, and I thought you guys should know.
xx
So in this post it will be kinda different. I have delt with loss, for the first time 2 years ago to my nana. She was a huge part of my life growing up and it was hard to lose her. Everyone goes through different things. So I am going to tell you my story and how I coped with this for nearly 18 months.
So in 2014 my nana was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She had this cancer for 10 years and didn't even know about it up to the 11th year. When I found out, it was extremely hard because I was only 11 years old, and my sister was only 14. During the 18 months she had cancer, she got jondis. It's this condition/disease where your blood or lungs clog up and your skin turns yellow and you get this either after your born or before you die, but not everyone gets it. So even if she did recover from the cancer she would still die because of the condition she got.
When she recovered from jondis, my family and I tried travelling for an hour after tennis every weekend to visit her either in the hospital or at her home with my pop. I remember once we visited her, and she gave me and my sister things from when she was younger. My nana gave me a necklace that she wore to her wedding and her mums wedding, so on and so on. As the cancer got worse, she started loosing weight rapidly and she started loosing her hair. When she started loosing weight, at the same time she was getting the same medication you use for chemotherapy, because there was no cure. A couple months went by, and my nana got worse, we started visiting her in hospital not at her house, my nana could still move, she did still have some strength, but it wasn't enough.
Soon, I started crying whenever I started thinking about her and soon whenever I saw her at the hospital I couldn't stop crying. My mum and dad tried telling me to remember what she looked like before she had cancer, but that image is long gone. Till this day, I don't remember what she looks like before she had cancer. Soon later, my nana started getting better, she could go home, but she had to come back into the hospital for checkup every now and then. The last time I was at her house with nana there, she gave my sister and I old photo's from when we were younger. When I got home, I started writing letters about how I loved her, what she did for me etc, this helped me remember the good things, because so much bad stuff was happening in between.
Months fly by, my nana can't walk anymore. She is in hospital, fighting for her life. We visited her weekly and sometimes after school and sometimes we missed school because we had to be with her. During this time, it was hard on my pop and especially my dad. He didn't hardly talk, it was hard to talk to him about her because we would both end up in tears. My nana, has gone though so much in one year, when she couldn't walk, she stayed at the hospital in a seperate area so no one would disturb her. She lost all movement, she couldn't see, she couldn't smell, the last thing she could do was hear, and when she looses that, then she's gone.
One day, my mum gets a call about my nana, straight away, we packed our bags and I took my letters with me so I could read them to her. When we got there, my dad told me, she wanted to see you girls before she leaves. My mum, dad everyone left apart from me and my sister, to say out final words. I tried reading her a letter, but all I could hear coming out of her mouth was, "I love you", over and over, that was all I could hear out her mouth. I couldn't read her my letter, I was to scared to. That night I slept over at pop's house, my dad and my nana's sister slept at the hospital. The next morning, I was so scared with what I was about to hear. My nana past away during the night. Friday 13th 2015. The worst time to pass away. I had so much mixed emotions coming through me, I didn't cry one bit, I didn't know how to handle it.
Once I went back to school. During prayer, everyone said something about my nana, and I burst into tears in the middle of class, the teacher sent me to a councillor, and it actually helped a lot, (I recommend it) when I was at school in year 8, I started seeing her walking down the school hallways, it kind of scared me at first, but then I knew that she was always watching over me. So just remember, if you have lost a loved one, just think about all the good things they have done, all the memories. Wright them down, talk to someone, a friend or family member.
I hope you guys liked my story of my nana. I know this was a different post, but I don't talk about her that much, and I thought you guys should know.
xx
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